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SHARON'S BATTLE TO OVERCOME THE DEATH OF HER UNBORN BABY

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Published Date:
21 June 2007
THE death of her baby son Timothy when she was 37 weeks pregnant left Dromara woman Sharon Jordan and her husband Samuel devastated.
It was 1996 and the couple had understandably been excited about becoming parents for the first time.
Instead they experienced heartbreak.
Sharon has never before spoken publicly about Timothy's death.
But she decided to talk to The Leader in the hope that her story will help others affected by the tragedy of pregnancy loss or the death of a baby.
Sharon began: "I had the usual sickness that goes with pregnancy and I was attending the Lagan Valley Hospital.
"Everything was going along fine and I was due to get my 20 week scan - which is the big scan."
Sharon and Samuel attended the scan but because of the way the baby was moving, it was difficult to see properly.
So Sharon returned a few days later.
"I decided that Samuel didn't need to take another day off work because we thought everything was fine," she said.
But it was during this second scan medical staff discovered something was very wrong.
Sharon recalled: "The consultant was called and I was told that the little baby's stomach wasn't filling up with fluid.
"He had a condition known as oesophageal atresia.
"The gap between the gullet and the stomach hadn't filled. I was in total shock."
Sharon's care was transferred to the Royal Maternity Hospital where she and Samuel spoke to several consultants about major surgery for the baby once he was delivered.
"We were told that after the surgery the baby would have a lot of feeding problems. We were now preparing ourselves for a difficult journey ahead but still hoping everything would be all right after surgery," she said.
But on Friday, January 31, Sharon felt that something was wrong.
"I was 37 weeks pregnant and I felt that something wasn't quite right. I thought the baby wasn't moving."
Sharon made the journey to the Royal where she was told the devastating news that her baby had died.
"They brought me into the admission room and did the scan. Then they called somebody else to double check.
"We had prepared ourselves but we didn't think it would finish like that. It was heartbreaking. After all the worry and after nine months he wasn't there any more."
Timothy was born on Saturday, February 1.
It was an incredibly difficult day for the couple.
Sharon recalled: "I had two options. I could either come in on the Saturday or wait a few days to come to terms with it. I decided to go in on the Saturday morning and he was born that afternoon.
"You think it is cruel but it's better for you if you can go through it normally. And the staff were so sensitive and supportive."

After the birth Sharon and Samuel spent time with their baby boy and took some precious photographs of him.
Later that week they had a short funeral service for Timothy at Drumlough Presbyterian Church where he is buried.
Sharon said: "As Christians we accepted that God always knows what's best. We think God took Timothy to heaven to spare him from pain and suffering.
"But in the days that followed we knew it would take time to come to terms with such a big disappointment in our lives. We missed him so much."
Returning home to Dromara without their baby son proved very difficult for the couple.
"We were coming back to an empty house. We had papered the nursery for him and we wanted him to be there. We missed him.
"It is so exciting at the beginning when you know you are going to have a baby. You have all the pictures in your head," Sharon said.
Sharon and Samuel later attended a local branch of SANDS - a support group for parents who have experienced similar loss.
They also took time to grieve.
"It's good to talk to people who are in the same situation about how you felt. He's your baby and you still want to talk about him even though he wasn't there very long," Sharon said.

SANDS holds a memorial service each year for all those affected by the death of a baby.
In the UK around 6,500 babies are stillborn or die within their first month of life.
Through the group's support, and that of her family and friends, Sharon gradually began to heal.
Now the proud mum of Peter (6), Thomas (3), and baby Sophie, Sharon said the healing process takes time.
She explained: "When this happens some people feel that they need a baby right away. But I couldn't think about going through another pregnancy. I felt numb. It's a really strange feeling - it's as though you are protecting yourself.
"I found it hard to take friends' babies in my arms because I had been so hurt."
Ultimately, Sharon's story is one of hope - and she is proof that time is a great healer. She said: "Time does heal. You never forget, but you do heal. You can be happy again."
SANDS, the stillbirth and
neonatal death charity, supports anyone affected by the death of a baby and promotes research to reduce the loss of babies' lives.
The charity is holding an awareness month in June to highlight the loss parents endure and the support available to them and their families.
n If you have been affected by the death of a baby and would like to talk to someone in confidence or find out more about Sands please call 020 7436 7940 or visit www.uk-sands.org.

The full article contains 948 words and appears in n/a newspaper.
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  • Last Updated: 21 June 2007 11:24 AM
  • Source: n/a
  • Location: Banbridge
 
 
  

 
 


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