I mean who wants to celebrate Kerry Katona having a shower with her baby?

It all sounded wrong. Gerry told me that I'd regret it as it was going to be packed with celebrities and he has his eye on Ashley Cole now that he is single again!

After I saw the event covered in this week's OK! magazine it turned out Gerry was right. I had regretted it, though not because I had missed out on talking nonsense to a bunch of D-listers I don't even like, but because of the lack of Zelebrities that turned up!! What a hoot! It was possibly the most cringe-worthy entertainments event that's been featured in a long time! Even worse than the time Anthea Turner and her husband both posed with bars of flake on their front page on their wedding day. Yes, that bad!

If you haven't seen it, don't bother, I'll spare you the details. At a glance I thought it was a Big Brother reunion party and was wondering why Kerry Katona had been invited, but it turned out they were all there to celebrate with her, though they were the only people who showed up. From the pictures you would think they were all best buddies, Nikki Grahame rubbing Kerry's tummy, Samanda holding baby-gros, Billie holding a fluffy bunny, Gerry showing off around Kerry and her husband and Liam….well just standing about.

Then I read the interview with Kerry and she mentions that she didn't know who invited the Big Brother crew, but I guess she should have been thankful really or it would have been a very lonely party if you count Kerry and her husband and the few tumbleweeds blowing about in the background (if they'd bothered turning up).

I didn't know who I felt sorrier for, Kerry who was having the whole thing filmed for her new MTV eye-on-the-wall documentary or the Big Brother crew, though I won't lie when the sight of Ziggy awkwardly smiling whilst wearing a dummy and a baby's bib sort of swayed it for me.

Why did this take place? Why did my housemates attend? Why was Kerry's husband wearing a surgical hat in the photos?

Though even stranger was, why did Nikki Grahame attend, act like she was having the time of her life then write in the OK! column that she'd hardly spoken to Kerry Katona the whole time?

I mean let's face it, there wasn't exactly a crowd of people to go around.

The whole thing seemed a bit bizarre and another good reason why I am better off back in Derry, away from all the showbiz madness, though I'd be lying if I said I wasn't looking forward to Chico's new house warming.

Seány.