'Thought showers' make my brain ache!
As the late comedian George Carlin said: "There are a lot of stupid people in the world." The American comic - who passed away on Sunday - once remarked: "Think about how stupid the average person is and then realise, that half of them are even stupider than that."
Before he died, I hope he got a chance to read about the goings on in sleepy Tunbridge Wells, Kent. It would have provided him with one final belly laugh and perhaps a sense of vindication.
Nobody wants to appear to be stupid. We go to great lengths to prove that we're not - even if it means continuing an argument even though we know we're in the wrong. Another tactic is to dream-up fancy terms to dazzle others with. For example, ever heard of a 'thought shower'?
Tunbridge Wells council has received a lot of flak for trying to inlict this new-fangled term on the rest of us.
Political infighting, sniping and name calling are commonplace among councillors here but, compared to some of their English counterparts, our guys look like ruthlessly efficient 'super-councillors'.
The primary role of councillors is to serve the people. It is not uncommon for them to come together and hold brainstorming sessions to find better ways of achieving this.Except, brainstorming sessions are now underthreat from PC-mad councillors in Kent.
Apparently, 'thought shower' is a new, politically correct term for what used to be and - let's be realistic - will continue to be known as 'brainstorming'.
Over the past week, it has seeped into the public consciousness that the Borough Council of Tunbridge Wells has attempted to introduce 'thought showers', so that they don't risk offending part of the electorate.
The council decided that the word 'brainstorm' was offensive to people who suffer from epilepsy.
I swear, I'm not making this up.In future, meetings to generate new ideas at the council will be referred to as 'thought showers'.
Brains****ing
The term 'brainstorming' was first coined in the 1890s and was used by psychiatrists to refer to severe nervous attacks. Since the 1940s it has meant a meeting to produce new ideas but councillors in Tunbridge Wells feared it offensive.
Not surprisingly, the National Society for Epilepsy said this was unlikely.
It surveyed members three years ago to ask whether they found the phrase offensive.
Spokesman Amanda Cleaver said: "The answer was a resounding No. It certainly wasn't deemed offensive at all. People thought it was a great word to describe the coming together and discussion of ideas."
What then followed is my favourite press release OF ALL TIME. Instead of fidgeting nervously, bowing their heads in an embarrassed manner and mumbling: "Sorry, we're eejits. We'll spend less time trying to think up radical new ways of being PC and, instead, try to, y'know, improve services and that"; the council have encouraged anyone who finds 'brainstorming' offensive to get in touch.
Now follows the statement, issued by a personnel chief, which even the mighty David Brent could only dream of espousing:
"We take equality and diversity issues very seriously. It is important to us not to offend people and we are sorry if through trying to avoid this, we have indeed caused offence to the very people we were trying not to offend.”
Baffling, but it’s not over yet. It continues: “If the epilepsy association finds the term perfectly acceptable, then we welcome this clarification. If however, the term does in fact offend even a small minority, we would encourage people to get in touch with us.”
Sane
Richard Colwill, of the mental health charity Sane, said: “Using brainstorming in the context of a council meeting I wouldn't imagine would cause offence.”
Of the thought shower, he added: 'I don't think it will catch on.'
Thankfully, the Local Government Association (LGA), which represents councils across England, have introduced a degree of sanity into proceedings.
It said public sector staff should stop using trendy buzzwords and baffling jargon when describing simple ideas and sent out a list of 100 words which it says should be avoided. These include "coterminosity", which means two organisations sharing the same boundaries, and "revenue stream", meaning money.
LGA chairman, Sir Simon Milton, said: "Why do we have to have 'coterminous, stakeholder engagement' when we could just 'talk to people' instead?"
He continued: “Without explaining what a council does in proper English then local people will fail to understand its relevance to them or why they should bother to turn out and vote.
“Unless information is given to people to explain why their council matters then local democracy will be threatened with extinction.”
So, there you have it. Stupid buzzwords could in fact spell the end of democracy as we know it. If that were to happen, all the ‘thought showers’ in the world couldn’t help us.
I reckon we’d need a series of ‘inspiration typhoon’ and ‘cogitation cyclone’ hybrids to sort out the inevitable mess.
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Sunday 12 February 2012
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