This letter was forwarded to me by a member of the ‘Journal’ staff.
Despite my years - somewhere well over 30 at this stage - of being involved in the editing newspapers this one has got me stumped. So I thought I would share it with you, dear readers.
The only thing changed are the names of the two people (allegedly) involved.
The introduction ran like this -”Please find attachment photo of fairy tree that is in Swan Park and letter from the new owner. (The tree can be found, if you walk through Swans park from the Westbrook Bridge entrance. As you leave green area it is along path on right hand side).
The letter itself then reads:
“Is mise Turlough O’....... Myself and my darling wife Caoimhe have just set up home in beautiful Swan’s Park, Buncrana.
“I myself am from a story telling clan of An Macara Shi (The Trooping Fairies) and I am only recently married.
“We recently had a lovely blessing in an ancient dolmen deep in the midlands where the craic was mighty.
“It was at this blessing that a good friend of mine suggested setting up home here in Inis Eoghan, he said, “It’s different up there.” So here we are!
“As a story teller I love gathering and sharing them and would love nothing more than the páiste of Bun Cranncha to come and visit us in our new home and share their favourite stories.
“So while I don’t like to brag, I am without doubt the best seanachie of the Macara Shi. I have such a fantastic repertoire of some of Erin’s greatest adventure tales to share.
“Such as: Cuchulainn’s “cattle raid of Cooley” where he single-handedly gained victory over the wicked Queen Maeve of Connaught.
“Or the great adventures of our warrior Finn Mac Cool the most famous leader of the Fianna, that elite band of troops chosen for their strength and valour who defended Éire from foreign forces.
“And at times I also tell the sad tale of King Lir and his beloved four children whom endured a 900 years ordeal.
So again I would like to encourage the páiste of Bun Cranncha to visit me and share their favourite stories. (Chífidh mé ar ball sibh)
“In the coming weeks I do hope the town gardener doesn’t start his lawnmower before 9am as my darling wife Saoirse is not a morning fairy. “You know what I mean.”
“Finally I would like to take this opportunity to inform the Council that myself and herself will not be paying any “Household Charges”, so please don’t be cluttering my mail box with unwanted letters as I do detest litter.
“I must go now as my darling wife is calling me for my cuppa tae and a slice of my favourite brac.
Le grá ó your favourite fairy,