Did you watch ‘The Apprentice’? The series was jaded but still reasonably entertaining. The winner, Mark Wright from Australia and accountant Roisin Hogan from Dublin were about the best of a bad bunch.
One of the most ridiculous episodes was when candidates had to organise heritage coach trips. In a stately home, on pointing out a portrait of Anne Boleyn one of Henry VIII’s many wives, a tourist asked, “What happened between Anne and Henry”? “They just grew apart really,” said the so-called guide. Spoof history is always good craic.
Another entertaining low-light of the series was when contestant Daniel devised questions for a quiz game on romantic relationships. The questions were so subjective to get the answer ‘right’ you had to guess what was in Daniel’s mind. For instance, one question was something like this: A woman on a first date would prefer to go for: A – A long walk on a lovely beach. B – A meal at a smart restaurant or C – A trip abroad?
Hmmm… I thought to myself, we could have a quiz like that in this column. Some questions may actually have a right answer but for others the answer will only be ‘right’ if it has previously been suggested in this column.
First prize will be, something like, an hour listening in to a debate at Stormont. Second prize could be two hours at Stormont and third prize could be three hours. Runners-up will have to stay until the debate finishes.
So here are the questions:
According to MLAs’ submitted expenses forms how many different job descriptions are available for MLAs’ family members (or others) to choose from? Is it:
A. 4 B. 5 or C. 84
According to the MP for Cuil Rathin agus Léim an Mhadaidh what constitutes a healthy breakfast? Is it:
A. Jaffa cakes. B. Orange juice or C. Yogurt
Where should training for the PSNI take place? Should it:
A. Stay in East Belfast. B. Move to a new site near Cookstown or C. Move to Ross Hussey MLA’s office in Omagh.
How many years has Derry been waiting for a dual-carriageway to anywhere except Eglinton? Is it:
A. 1 year B. 2 years or C. 50 years
In October how did a Derry motorist describe a traffic warden? Was it:
A. A ubiquitous traffic warden. B. A lurcher or C. A lurker.
Also last October did golfer Rory McIlroy receive more abuse for congratulating the North’s soccer team or the Republic’s? Was it:
A. The North. B. The South or C. Who cares?
The village of Ballymagorry near Strabane had an unusual visitor in July. Was it:
A. A submarine. B. The Lough Foyle Monster or C. “Flipper” the dolphin.
Also in the summer a popular Country and Western singer cancelled a series of concerts in Dublin’s Croke Park. Was he:
A. Rev. Willie McCrae. B. Gareth Brooks or C. Garth Brooks.
Why, earlier this year, did Martin McGuinness say he was supporting “The Orangemen”? Was it because:
A. Everybody loves an underdog. B. He felt sorry because they were stuck in a caravan in Belfast or C. Because he drew Holland in the office World Cup sweepstake.
What did Queen Elizabeth say when she met Martin McGuinness (again) this year. Was it:
“How do you do?” B. “Nice to see you again” or C. “Yis, Martin”.
Well that’s it. I hope you enjoyed the challenge. Next week, just in case you didn’t work them out, I’ll reveal the ‘correct’ answers.