No more need for speed so put the brakes on Vin

Vin Diesel (right) and Paul Walker in 'Fast and Furious 6'.
Vin Diesel (right) and Paul Walker in 'Fast and Furious 6'.

Let’s face it, in the history of movie franchises, has there ever been one where the sixth instalment has been in any way good or even worthwhile? Answers on a postcard please.

‘Fast & Furious 6’ is without question one of the most ridiculously awful, laugh-out-loud and painfully preposterous films of the year. In fact, it’s so bad, it’s actually worth going to see, if that makes any sense.

Five movies and more gear shifts than a Grand Prix weekend later, Dominic Torreto (Diesel - ‘The Chronicles of Riddick’) and his team of petrol head criminals return for a sixth time.

Criminal mastermind and ex-SAS commando, Shaw (Luke Evans - ‘Ashes’), is wreaking havoc around the world with his team of speed demon criminals.

Special agent Luke Hobbs, (Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson - ‘G.I. Joe Retaliation’) tracks down Torreto and convinces him to re-assemble his team to take on Shaw by showing him pictures of his thought to be dead girlfriend Letty (Rodriguez - ‘S.W.A.T.’).

Hobbs promises Torreto and his team if they are successful he will pardon them all for what happened in ‘Fast and Furious 5’.

Torreto and Hobbs track Shaw down in London and a global game of petrol fuelled cat and mouse ensues.

It’s a sad state of affairs when the cars in this film are more charismatic than some of the actors.

Dwayne Johnson is aptly nicknamed the Rock. His acting ability equates to all things geological; like stones and rocks, he can’t act, convey facial expressions and at times it’s questionable whether he is actual flesh and blood or sandstone.

I’d like to be able to say the film’s comic relief in Tyrese Gibson and Ludacris saved the day but bar one line that instead of needing a plan B they needed more alphabets, it’s humourless, predictable and mind-numbingly boring.

Vin Diesel is an actor I quite like and I am looking forward to ‘Riddick’ later this year but perhaps it’s time for him to hang up his car keys. Seemingly not, ‘Fast & Furious 7’ will start pre-production next year.

In a film where fast cars and action are high on the agenda you’d be forgiven for thinking they would help to keep the whole thing afloat. Not so. The action sequences in ‘Fast & Furious 6’ are so utterly implausible that I wondered how on Earth a member of the human race conceived such far-fetched nonsense.

Torreto and his crew also seem to have mastered the art of teleportation and it’s sure to say that career criminals don’t use low fare airlines; they travelled from America, to England and then on to Spain quicker than Usain Bolt inside a high speed passenger train.

The most exciting aspect of the whole movie appears on screen seconds after the credits start to roll and it’s a sign of poor characters and bad writing when you start to cheer on the bad guy and pray for the demise of team Sorreto.

I lost count of how many times I laughed in disbelief or shook my head in horror during this film and despite its awfulness it’s an experience I will likely never forget.

There are bad movies and then there’s ‘Fast and Furious 6’. It’s bit a like watching someone struggle with parallel parking. They are so excruciatingly bad you just have to see for yourself.