San Andreas - Film Review

Dwayne Johnson (Ray Gaines) in 'San Andreas'.
Dwayne Johnson (Ray Gaines) in 'San Andreas'.
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Disaster movies. You really have to admire their penchant for the over the top.

‘San Andreas’ might come with a horrendously awful script and some of the worst acting ever witnessed since the dawn of man but it’s actually quite enjoyable.

Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson, plays Ray Gaines, a seasoned helicopter rescue pilot.

Gaines is reminiscent of Liam Neeson’s Bryan Mills character in ‘Taken’ in that he is separated from his wife (Carla Gugino) and daughter (Alexandra Daddario).

Meanwhile, whilst Gaines et family are enjoying post marital breakdown bliss, Dr. Lawrence Hayes (Paul Giamatti) devises a way in which to predict when earthquakes will strike.

Dr. Hayes attempts to warn the people of California that a large earthquake is imminent but despite his best efforts thousands of people, including an utterly pointless character called Susan played by Kylie Minogue, lose their lives.

Back in amicable failed marriage land, Gaines reacts to the large quake by using a helicopter, which is supposed to be used for saving the lives of all people, to save his estranged wife and daughter.

In the meantime, Gaines’ daughter, Blake has become acquainted with two brothers from England played by Hugo-Johnstone-Burt and Moville lad Art Parkinson.

‘San Andreas’ is so bad it’s good. Johnson somehow manages to keep a straight face when uttering such belly laugh inducing lines as ‘we’re going to save our daughter’ and ‘now, we rebuild’.

The final shot is of, yes, you’ve guessed it an American flag. It’s almost as if the first 113 minutes are spent recounting the romanticism of 1960/70s B-movies only for director, Brad Peyton, to attempt to turn it into some bizarre piece of Republican party sponsored social commentary.

Chances are you’ll find ‘San Andreas’ so utterly cringing that the idea of your mother performing ‘Bootylicious ‘ in Downey’s Bar will start to sound appealing

Andrew Quinn - Derry Journal film critic

Chances are you’ll find ‘San Andreas’ so utterly cringing that the idea of your mother performing ‘Bootylicious’ by Destiny’s Child in Downey’s Bar in Shipquay Street will start to sound appealing.

The sheer amount of verbal diarrhoea peddled in this film is enough to really make you want to consider whether or not the evolution of man has come as far as it possibly can.

You would think that after all this that it would be impossible for ‘San Andreas’ to have any redeeming features and whilst you’re, to a certain extent, on the right path, the film’s special effects are outstanding.

The sheer magnitude of the devastation caused by the earthquake is tremendous and there are moments of great suspense and entertainment.

Moville lad, Art Parkinson, is quite good as happy go lucky Ollie and does steal some scenes with great comedy timing.

‘San Andreas’ is one of those films that comes along every once in a while that in order to truly appreciate its absurd antics you really must see it for yourself!

VERDICT: 3/5 - It’s certainly not going to win any awards for script writing or acting but Brad Peyton’s ‘San Andreas’ occupies a level of awful that many will enjoy. I enjoyed this film. It utterly bonkers but it was a lot of fun. Dwayne Johnson is perhaps one of the worst actors around but as much as it pains me to say this he works very well with the supporting cast. The special effects are outstanding but ‘San Andreas’ will be forever remembered as one of the most corny movies in recent times. Worth a watch!