Seamus Fox, The Mindset Junkie: Take control of your perceptions, decisions and actions
What do you do if things are totally out of your control and you feel like you can’t do anything?
It was a question I was asked at my seminar last week from a couple of the attendees who felt stuck and out of control over a situation they are going through in life right now.
I told them they are in control and here’s why. . . . We are always in control of three things in our lives; 1. Perceptions. 2. Decisions. 3. Actions.
No matter the perceived problem we still have control over these three things and number one will dictate all results to follow. Unless we balance out our polarised perceptions on any problem, it will run us instead of us running it.
In any situation in life we have two sides which are both positive and negative, benefits and drawbacks but why we create so many problems for ourselves in life is because we usually want only a one sided event and when it doesn’t happen we label it as negative, bad or something we didn’t want or need.
However, if we look properly and ask better questions we can find the benefits. I think we have probably all been challenged in this area more than ever over the last year or so, trying to find the order in the apparent chaos.
Any polarised perception or emotion will get stored subconsciously and eventually will run us unless we train our minds to see both sides and find the benefits to what we perceive as a drawback.
I have done this many times recently on myself and I have used this with many clients I coach. I watch them physically change and become more centred and balanced and come back into a better state of mind and body.
If we say to ourselves we have no choice or we are not in control, we automatically become a victim and I don’t believe in that, and certainly don’t want anyone disempowering themselves by feeling they are or to spend too much time thinking they have no control. You have control!
Victor Frankl, an Austrian neurologist, philosopher and Holocaust survivor, spoke about this in his book, 'Man's search for meaning'. He and others like him in concentration camps found meaning in life in the most horrific circumstances by choosing to control how he thought and how he perceived his situation. He fixed his mind on something that gave him hope so he could survive. Those who have no hope perish, as an old proverb says.
We can find the meaning or what's also known as your telos when we become balanced in our perspective. The ancient Greeks studied teleology which, in short, was a way to find your true purpose; the end goal in mind, meaning to life and I believe we all have that within us - our own true purpose and calling.
But what happens so many times is people get caught up living other people's goals, or values and never really dig deep to truly find their own purpose. Once you understand and get clarity on what's truly meaningful to you then you can regain control and focus and put all of your time and energy into creating the life you want and that means pursuing both sides which are pleasure and pain. Support and challenge positive and negative.
“Most people want to be loved for who they are, but most people are afraid to be who they are” When we learn to control and balance out our own perceptions over any issue or problem we are facing in life we can regain control of our energy and bring ourselves back into balance which is what our psychology and physiology is always trying to do.
Our intuition is always trying to guide us back to be centred in the middle of both positive and negative, reacting less to our perceived problems, guiding us to a higher state of awareness so we can make better decisions and become more objective.
So, in conclusion, we can always take back control of those three things; perceptions, decisions, actions. Look for solutions in all of our perceived problems. See how it is benefiting you in life right now and in all areas of life, not just one. Once we all do this we can see that everything has a benefit and that it might also be guiding you to bring you back to being more authentic with who you really are, and what you really want from life.
Your coach, Seamus Fox