What a Carry On we had at Stormont last week. NI21 leader, Basil McCrea was to sponsor a Lovely Girls contest in the hallowed halls until two MLA judges caught themselves on. (Dolores Kelly SDLP and Jo-Anne Dobson UUP) The contest was switched to Titanic Belfast.
The thought of politicians encouraging something as out-of-date and politically incorrect as a Miss Ulster contest is almost beyond parody but that’s only ‘almost’. Here’s how to get around the problem of the restrictive rules. Have a ‘Rose of Stormont’ contest.
Include mature, glamorous women from the worlds of politics, academe, journalism and so on. Aren’t there some out there? I think so. Just drop the age and size rules. Instead of Miss Ulster make it Ms Ulster. Even matronly DUP or TUV women from North Antrim who normally only make the tea might have a go. Don’t worry; we could stick a few dolly birds in the front row!
It would be about personality and talent as well at looks. The contestants would do their party piece. And, we could also have worthy women who want to be ambassadors for Ulster and promote world peace.
The show would be televised, of course. Wouldn’t Dáithé Ó Sé be the dream presenter? He always goes down a storm with the ladies. The show may be getting tired in Tralee so moving it to our Parliament Buildings could be just the ticket. Incidentally, didn’t the Lovely Girls sponsor, loquacious Basil McCrea go all strangely shy when the controversy broke last week?