British could miss DUP rule

British could miss out on DUP

They’ll be content to support a minority government so long as the price is right, Peter Robinson told his party conference. Well, that’s a blow for people in England. Just think of all that under-utilised DUP talent. It’s sad to think of the British people missing out on what we’ve enjoyed for so long.

Take Sammy Wilson, for instance. As a former economics teacher he’d be perfect for Chancellor of the Exchequer if it weren’t for the fact that he’d be even better suited to being Energy and Climate Change Secretary. He doesn’t believe all that nonsense scientists go on about so he wouldn’t waste taxpayers’ money on it.

And Cúil Raithin and Leim an Mhadaidh MP, Gregory Campbell would be ideal as Secretary of State for Education, Women and Equalities. If they had a Minister for Manners and Respect he’d be a shoe-in but sure he’d be grand at the education and equalities stuff.

And, wouldn’t a DUP man or woman be perfect as Minister of State for Universities, Science and Cities? With a DUP minister, science would be far easier. Anyone going on about evolution, for instance, would be wrong. Nothing could be older than the talking snake in the Garden of Eden. And, what about a DUP person as Secretary of State for Culture, Media and Sport? The English have elitist ideas about culture and a DUP minister could introduce the people’s culture of ‘flegs’ and ‘Kick the Pope Bands”.

Isn’t it unpatriotic of the DUP to hide its lights?