Getting the party started at Downing Street

David Cameron and Peter Robinson.
David Cameron and Peter Robinson.

There’s been speculation as to why David Cameron recently entertained the eight DUP MPs and Peter Robinson in his Downing Street garden. I’m going to suggest a more obvious reason. Strangely enough, nobody else appears to have thought of my explanation for bringing the Irish lads round for drinks.

The Guardian’s chief political correspondent suggested Cameron was wooing the ‘Dupers’ ahead of a possible hung parliament where their support could be crucial to his survival. The DUP men “could hold the balance of power in the event of a hung parliament,” he said.

Local commentators focused on the notion that Cameron was “playing the Orange card”. There would be nothing new about that. Edward Carson came to regret that he had been used by the English Tories. When the Home Rule crises were raging unionists thought Bonar Law and Randolph Churchill were their friends but they were only using them to defeat the Liberals and to delay reforming the House of Lords.

Why has no-one thought of a more obvious explanation for the do? Wouldn’t Gregory, Jeffrey, Nigel, Jim, Ian Og, David and Sammy be great craic altogether after an Orange juice or two? Isn’t Sammy a gas man? Gregory does a mean imitation of Ian Og’s da. Couldn’t Willie McCrea and David Simpson sing an oul come-all-ye and Jim Shannon give them a bit of the old Ulster/Scots? Peter Robinson was there even though he’s not an MP so it’s a pity they didn’t also bring Nelson McCausland round. He might have a hidden side to him.