How to be a grown up, in three easy steps

Spring tends to make me re evaluate. This week, I cleaned my windows, I made the back yard garden look less like a dumping ground, I introduced yellow into the guest room. Yes, ‘introduced’ - I know. Until this point in my life, I’ll be honest, it was a word I rarely used. I’ve never featured in an English costume drama so the chances of me ever saying ‘allow me to introduce’ were slim. Now though, it turns out I can use it to talk about colour schemes, and adding some yellow flowers and a yellow throw to brigten up my spare room. The throw was introduced to the plain white duvet and the flowers were introduced to an unsightly mark on the windowsill which they’re now covering. Both are matches made in budget interiors heaven.

So I’m reevaluating and in the course of two days this weekend, I have realised that life has changed. In the summer, the third wedding anniversary is upon us and the baby - who can sustain a pretty decent conversation - will be two. So it’s not like there haven’t been a few major upheavals in the course of the last few years.

However, at the weekend, a few less earth shattering events have stacked up and shown me that unbeknownst to myself, I have probably, pretty officially, grown up.

Event one concerns kitchen roll. For my entire life - until now the buying of kitchen roll has had pretty much one focus. That being, get the cheapest one there is, throw it in the trolley, move on. Last week however, availing of an offer, I invested in something a bit more upmarket, A kitchen roll claiming to be a cloth. “Hah!” I said to myself as I scoffed at the very idea of this boasting statement. I bought the kitchen roll/cloth anyway because it was on offer and have since been stopped in my tracks by the powers of this revolutionary paper. At least three times, during three separate cleaning episodes since the purchase, I’ve admired the kitchen roll and remain in awe of its strength. “People should know about this.” I gasped, wiping up a major crime scene on the toddler’s feeding tray.

Round about the third time I realised there was no going back. I was with the big girls now. This was a big girl thing to be taking satisfaction from. This was something I would NEVER have noticed when I was 19, a bit like decent parking spots.

The second major event of the weekend was the installation of invisible clips on the kitchen cupboards to make sure the almost two year old doesn’t end up drinking Fairy Liquid - that being not very good for little digestive systems. After a week of futile warnings, we called in the big guns and invested in a home safety kit which the husband INSTALLED HIMSELF. Not since I found a designer handbag under the Christmas tree in 2010 have I been so impressed. The clips have changed my life. No longer permanently stationed at the cupboards with myself blocking the entrance I am free to wander around the kitchen safe in the knowledge that the almost two year old will have no access to the more dangerous things in life. Fairy Liquid is kryptonite to a two year old. Having an overwhelming desire to personally thank the inventor of cupboard clips was the second event which assured me I’m pretty mature these days. Grown up and proud people. Oh yes.

Third on the list which confirms me as a proper wife and mother type as I ponder all things new and Spring like is the fact that along with my Marie Claire subscription I’ve now also subscribed to an interiors magazine. I’ve salivated over at least three houses with original features and kitchens to die for. Ever since I was 16 I’ve looked longingly at the high end labels in MC and Vogue and prayed for an endless supply of cash to indulge my cruel addiction to high end fashion labels. The cash has yet to arrive but I think it’s now time to stand up and admit that the hypothetical windfall has now been set aside for a new kitchen floor and some bespoke furniture. Grown up? You better believe it.

So in line with all things spring and reevaluating I reckon I can conclude that life has changed. Strange things make me smile these days. I’m (slightly) older. Not at all wiser. Strangely contented - and grown up. But lest there be any doubt, fancy kitchen roll or not, I can still rock and roll with the best of them. You should see me, in the kitchen, with the ipod on.