My children have exceptionally pedestrian names. My eldest is Joseph, occasionally shortened to Joe.
When he was born and the chaplain came to see us in the hospital to ask if she could perform a blessing on our newborn baby she laughed when I told her his name. “Thank God for one I can actually pronounce,” she laughed.
My daughter is called Cara. It’s a traditional Irish name - and she was one of four Caras in her nursery year group. Our only run in with her name has been the inevitable “How do you spell it?” - with so many variations doing the running now including Kara and Carragh. But no, we went for the common or garden spelling so when people ask I tend to reply “Car... with an a on the end”.
There is a part of me which wishes we had played things a little less safely. I would have loved to called my daughter Lola - but I feared that rather than coming off as cool and trendy and perhaps a little bit quirky, it may have come off as hooker in training or wannabe stripper (And I do, honestly, love that name).
I’ve always kept in mind that the names we give our children have to carry them through life - and that means being read out with the school register (so middle names must be considered) to topping CVs and being read out at any future marriage ceremony.
With that in mind I’ve always gone with the philosophy that if their names cannot be followed with ‘attorney at law’ without sounding ridiculous then those names are simply not goers.
You wonder what life Katie Price (to name just one celebrity who has gone for a quirky name) thinks lies ahead for her children? With her daughters now called Princess and Bunny I don’t imagine them standing up in court and declaring themselves as counsel for the defence.
Of course parents have the choice to name their children whatever they want and, by way of pet names, I have called my daughter both princess and bunny rabbit.
But it is nothing short of cruel - and selfish of a parent - to lumber a child with a name that will no doubt make them the subject of ridicule or unlikely to be taken seriously in future life.
It was reported this week that Princess has already taken against her name, at the age of eight, and wants to change it.
We can only hope her mother sees sense and lets her - and if they choose Cara as a replacement they spell the old fashioned way.