How schools handle angry parents - as 4 out of 5 Northern Ireland head teachers say they've faced abuse

• Four out of five head teachers in Northern Ireland say they have been abused by parents in the last year
• In serious cases, they have also had to ban parents from the schoolgrounds, or get the police involved
• But a legal expert says schools usually try a few steps to de-escalate before it comes to such extreme measures

School leaders say they are facing a spike in bad behaviour from parents - leaving them to juggle finding solutions with supporting their pupils.

The results of a new poll by the National Association of Head Teachers (NAHT), released last week, found that more than four out of five (82%) of 1,600 school leaders surveyed across England, Wales, and Northern Ireland said they had been abused by parents in the last year. The figures were similar within the Northern Ireland chapter, with 80% saying they had faced abuse.

NAHT NI said that nearly nine out of ten head teachers (88%) said they had been verbally abused - the most common form - while 76% had also experienced threatening behaviour, 30% had experienced online abuse, and around one in five (21%) had faced discriminatory language - including racist, sexist or homophobic terms. Nearly one in 10 (9%) had even suffered physical violence.

Many head teachers had considered leaving the profession, while others had suffered depression or anxiety attacks. They also noted that the behaviour had been on the rise over the last three years - with not a single school leader from Northern Ireland amongst those polled believing it had decreased. In some cases, schools had to take drastic measures. Nearly one in five (19%) school leaders had to ban a parent from the school grounds in the last year, while a similar number had reported parents to police (20%).

The NAHT has called for an end to the abuse. Its national secretary for Northern Ireland, Dr Graham Gault, said: “These statistics paint an alarming and deeply troubling picture for schools in Northern Ireland - one that cannot be ignored.”

“It is unacceptable that as public servants, dedicated to the education and well-being of children, they should be subjected to such treatment,” he continued. “Urgent action is required. We will continue to press employing authorities to take decisive steps in addressing unacceptable behaviour and violence, including online abuse, and to establish clear and robust processes for dealing with these incidents when they occur.”

Hannah Convery, a teaching expert with business law firm HCB Solicitors, told us how schools try to manage difficult situations with parents, from de-escalation strategies at a classroom level to the role of senior leadership.

Here are some of the steps she says schools take to maintain strong, positive relationships with families - even when tensions get high:

How schools handle parental abuse

1. Show parents they’re on the same side

Ms Convery said that teachers were often on the frontlines when it came to unhappy parents, and they would often be the first to try and ease tensions. “In situations where a parent is displaying aggressive behaviour, the teacher will often try to reason with them, emphasising that they are on the same side and share the common goal of supporting the child,” she said.

Of course, teachers and schools also need to foster a “positive partnership” with parents by building a sense of community throughout the rest of school year, she continued, not just when there’s a problem.

“To build these relationships, schools can organise events such as parent-teacher meetings or special days where parents can visit the school to observe and better understand the classroom environment.”

2. Call in reinforcements

Unfortunately, addressing issues at a classroom level may not always work - especially when parents are particularly upset, or don’t feel like they’ve been heard. Sometimes, this can even lead to confrontations with staff outside of the classroom.

Ms Convery said the next step schools usually took was making sure staff members weren’t facing this alone. “If a parent is particularly confrontational, such as approaching the teacher at pick-up time, the school may have additional staff, such as someone on the door, to support the teacher and help de-escalate the situation.”

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3. A formal meeting - to hear both sides of the story

If the matter cannot be resolved easily or quickly, the next step was usually to report the incident to a member of the Senior Leadership Team (SLT), she said. This allows both sides to share their reasoning and feelings in a moderated environment, and hopefully agree on an outcome that will benefit the child involved.

“They will arrange a meeting with the parent to discuss their concerns in a calm and constructive manner. During this meeting, a member of the SLT will be present to offer support, allowing the teacher to explain their reasoning behind any decisions made.”

How does your child’s school deal with parents’ concerns, and work to build a sense of trust and community in and out of the classroom? Let us know by leaving a comment below.