‘He held on. He was waiting on her. They passed away holding hands’

“Mummy was close to death and in line with the guidance one person could visit,” their daughter Lynne told the ‘Journal’ this week. “That was my older sister Libby who went to visit mum.”

Blossom, aged 78, had been in the Altnagelvin Intensive Care Unit (ICU) for seven days. Barney, aged 81, though gravely ill was still being treated on the COVID ward.

“Five minutes later I got a call to say dad was very close to death and that the person visiting mum could visit dad. The consultant quickly phoned us back and said, ‘Look, we want to bring your parents together because both of them are very close to death. How do you as a family feel about that?’”

One of the family’s biggest fears had been their parents dying apart. They had prayed it wouldn’t happen and through the compassion of the Altnagelvin staff their prayers were answered.

“We wanted them to be together. It was an assessed risk because dad was so poorly they were worried he could die on his way to ICU to be with mum. But he didn’t. He held in. He was waiting on her. They were brought together in ICU with my sister Libby and they passed away holding hands six minutes apart. My dad died at 16.55 and my mum died at 17.01. They were going home and we believe they were together on their final earthly journey, holding hands, holding rosary beads. They passed away together.

“The nurses and medical staff showed great emotion. The emotion that those professionals must feel and take home with them, it’s not something you can switch off from.”

Barney McGlinchey loved a yarn and was a big football fan. He was devoted to his wife and family. Blossom and Barney were people of strong faith. They were a typical and unique, well-known and well-got Greysteel couple.

“Daddy was a real story teller and loved life. He loved his garden. Both of them loved their wee Sunday runs round the graveyard. They were people of great faith, a gift they passed on to us as a family. We believe it is that gift of faith that has given us the strength to get through this at this time,” Lynne says.

“We know that the wider community, not just our family and friends, said their prayers. We want to thank them for their prayers, their thoughts and their kindness,” she adds.

Their nightmare began when Barney tested positive for SARS-CoV-2 on December 31 and Blossom was found to be suffering from the virus on January 2. The family had been ultra-cautious and had made huge personal sacrifices in order to shield their parents.

“I think it’s important to get the message out so that it saves other hearts breaking. Mum and dad were the most vulnerable in our family that we tried our best to protect them. When both tested positive for COVID-19 this was our nightmare. This is what we have tried to avoid. We have tried to protect them. This is why we, for the past ten months, have stayed away from our parents, from hugging them, from being with them. It really was that day we entered into what was our nightmare.

“Mum was 78 and daddy was 81. They had no underlying health conditions. It was Thursday, January 7, that we had to make the 999 call,” says Lynne.

One of the most frightening things about COVID-19 is the insidious nature of the symptoms. Lynne says that had her parents’ oxygen levels not been shown to have been dangerously low via a finger oximeter reading then their symptoms might have been mistaken for a severe head cold or a ‘flu.

“Mum had ‘flu like symptoms and was a wee bit disorientated. Dad had a cough and was vomiting. Thankfully at home we had a pulsometer that reads oxygen levels. It was the oxygen levels of my mum and dad that prompted the 999 call. It was close to organ failure so without the pulsometer we could have been treating them with fluids and anti-sickness tablets.

“A doctor would have asked is there any shortness of breath. That’s what we were looking out for with mum and dad from the window. I would have been talking to them and looking for shortage of breath. There was no shortage of breath.”

For nearly two weeks the couple’s children Dessie, Libby, Lynne, Clare and Sarah-Jane, grandchildren Michael, Eoin, Lucy, Joe, Isla, Hannah and Kate, and wider circle, suffered an emotional rollercoaster.

During those 13 days the sensitivity of the doctors and nurses was outstanding. Those being treated for the illness are in good hands, as Lynne outlines.

“It was at a personal level. They would say they would love you as a family to be here with your mum and your dad. Every call you got your heart was in your mouth. You just thought, is this it now? Who is going to go first? How will we tell the other person? Do we tell mum if dad goes? All those kinds of thoughts.

“Every conversation when mum and dad regressed in their health - they were so respectful in how they delivered it. You could hear the emotion in their voices. The consultant would ring you with the end-of-life discussion and you knew they didn’t want to be delivering the news.”

Heartbreakingly, Barney received his invitation to receive the AstraZeneca vaccine when he was dying with coronavirus in hospital. Both Barney and Blossom, fit and healthy and active pensioners, didn’t want to die.

“Mummy and daddy were coming home. They wanted to come home. They wanted to fight this. Daddy said to me ‘I want to live. I want to live.’ When he got out of bed and got onto a chair the day before we knew he was going to die. He said, ‘I’m closer, I’m not there yet but I’m getting closer to the door.’ So he very much, and we very much, wanted them home. They spent 13 days in Altnagelvin. Both of them initially moved into the COVID-19 ward 26C and then mum was moved to ICU for seven days. They wanted to live. They wanted to come home to us. They persevered with high pressure masks called CPAP (continuous positive airway pressure). Dad said it was like putting your head out of a fast-moving car. They lived with that for 13 days.

“When you do face a nightmare like this you do try and find comfort in something. We know they didn’t experience any physical pain. We know that. We trust the nurses when they tell us. But it was the emotional torture of that. They were in sealed off rooms, their only company being medics in gowns and masks and seeing eyes behind perspex visors. They missed each other. The nurses would say every time they entered daddy’s room the first thing he asked about was Sarah before he asked about himself.”

‘This is a deadly virus that took our parents’ - heartbroken family of Sarah (Blossom) and Barney McGlinchey urge public vigilance against COVID-19

The McGlincheys’ experience is one of a devastating illness that can escalate rapidly and without warning.

Barney was well enough to watch the Manchester United and Liverpool derby two weeks ago and Blossom was able to eat a meal in ICU, just days before they passed away.

“From one hour to another COVID-19 can bring something very different for a patient and it did with mum and dad. From dad sitting out watching the football - he was a Man U fan watching Liverpool Man U - to conversations about reducing his oxygen level to within 24 hours having conversations in regards to end-of-life.

“Mum was in ICU. We heard about mum sitting up eating dinner on about 65 per cent oxygen to twelve hours later 100 per cent oxygen and discussions with regards to end-of-life. It’s like a rollercoaster of emotions. It’s the only way of explaining it.

“Daddy stayed in the COVID-19 ward. He deteriorated so quickly on the Monday that ICU came over and assessed him to see if the equipment and their expertise would do anything different for daddy and they assessed that it wouldn’t.”

The family set up a JustGiving page to raise funds in memory of their parents and in tribute to the staff who cared for them in their last days and hours. An incredibly thoughtful gesture when their grief is so raw, it’s already raised over £3,500. Donate here: https://www.justgiving.com/crowdfunding/BandB2021

“We are eternally indebted to the nursing and medical staff. They did the best that they could for our parents,” is how Lynne sums it up.

The family want to express their gratitude to Father Sean O’Donnell, chaplain at Altnagelvin, who gave their parents the last rites, and Fathers Noel McDermott and Patrick Mullan who gave them a beautiful Requiem Mass. Their removal from Altnagelvin side by side to Greysteel by W.J. O’Brien funeral directors meant a lot to the family.

In the midst their grief the McGlincheys have an important point to make.

“Some people probably find laws and rules difficult to abide by in regard to visiting and that but we respected it for ourselves and for the wider community. It didn’t make it any easier but we respected that. The guidance and restrictions are here because there is a deadly virus out there. Please don’t think this is a myth. Protect yourselves and protect your family.”