Seamus Fox, The Mindset Junkie: Finding love and balance in life's chaos
For every action or inaction that you judge yourself or others for, there’s a blessing in disguise if you are willing to look.
I had a coaching session with a client recently who told me after our session; 'I only ever saw those things as a negative before but now I see its benefits'. When we see things clearly and see the benefits and balance in the perceived chaos, we then have a balanced mind and we release judgement. We release judgement of ourselves and of others!
Your mind opens up and so too does your heart when you see that these micro and macro events have shaped you perfectly to be who you are now, and that if they didn’t happen the drawbacks would sometimes be worse to live with in your current reality and not what you would want.
How many times have you experienced something that seemed tough, cruel or not fair but in the weeks and months later, even years later, you looked back and thought, 'you know what, that was a blessing in disguise', even though at the time you did not see it that way at all.
Once the emotion settles and the charge isn’t as strong, and also if you are open and honest with yourself, you seen the benefits in what was once chaos or pain. When we work to be more aware each day and if we are willing to do the work, we can ask ourselves certain questions in every situation to find the balance so we don’t have to wait for years to see the order from the chaos. It’s a mind that transcends judging yourself and others. It’s a mind that when you find the balance in the middle, you see how it not only serves your life but the lives of others also.
The balance in the middle is simply to be objective and to be objective means to be neutral. Your brain and body is always looking to create that for you, but if we are polarised in the extreme in one way those issues run us instead of us running them. The quality of our lives is due to the quality of questions we ask."
We place heavy burdens on ourselves because we try to live up to a model of life that’s a fantasy in so many ways, one that says this is good that’s bad; you can do this but you can’t do that.
Guilt cripples people, fearing we have caused more harm than good in any situation. However, in any situation there’s always both sides. There is no such thing as a one sided event.
"Most people want to be loved for who they are, but most people are afraid to be who they are.” Maybe now it’s time to embrace all of who you are and love yourself for that. A human being with both sides, perfections and flaws. One that sees how these perceived flaws are essential to you and to others, and they all aid in helping you grow to be who you are supposed to be so you can live a life of purpose, loving what you do and why you do it.
Most people think they don’t know what they want. I don’t believe that because most people are already demonstrating what they truly value. The bigger problem is so many compare their life and the results in it to something else and they don’t feel like they are living how they should be living in comparison to something else they have seen.
In ending I will ask you to take a look at all aspects of your life and look closely and honestly and look back at every action or inaction or every person or situation that you feel was something in your life you didn't need and think and look again. Look closer and find how exactly all of it has served you in possibly many different ways that you haven’t realised before. If these people or circumstances hadn’t occurred in your life what would have been the drawback to you or even others right now? Would those drawbacks be something you wouldn’t want right now?
In my experiences from coaching many different people in all walks of life, very few would change anything. As Dr John Demartini put it so eloquently, 'Love is the synchronicities of complementary opposites.'
Finding love and balance in the apparent chaos of life sets you free.
Your Coach, Seamus Fox.