Derry project transitioning to new service to support children through parents' separation

The new service, which is thought to be the first of it’s kind in Derry, will be launched at a special conference on Wednesday, October 4.

Donna-Maria Logue, Founder of La Dolce Vita Project said: “La Dolce Vita started back in 2016 and was very much based on the voices of the people of our community. We were looking at the effects domestic use on a person, their mental health and their well-being. Through the years, it started to take a very different approach as the public needs changed. We started to focus on separating; children witnessing domestic abuse, people seeking support for safety and how to de-escalate situations. Then, we were seeing what we now know as coercive controlling behaviours as well as alienating behaviour. I went on to educate myself, getting a qualification in Parental Alienation Studies, as well as conducting studies with the university. What we found was that there wasn't enough services for parents who are going through family separation. Yes, children are witnessing domestic abuse when they are living in it, but there are also children getting caught up in the conflict when their parents separate. Children are being used to pass messages or they become witnesses. Sometimes children are being used to spy on other parents and that is being used as court evidence. Children are having to speak to multiple professionals, which is causing them distress. So, we decided to look at how we can be more effective, intervene early and how can we identify the strategies and behaviours going on.”

The project has been working for the past two years at how they can evolve to further serve the needs of the community, which has evolved into a new foundation which will be launched at a conference on October 4.

Donna-Maria continued: “We've been looking at the misinformation around parental alienation, and the reality of it, and we are now moving to be more child-focused. We're looking at what children are witnessing with domestic abuse, the coercion that they're experiencing, are they being used to cause harm and is there alienation. We realised that we needed an opportunity to bring awareness to people from professionals but also through people who have a lived experience of this. This conference will give the public a chance to come and listen to what we’ve been doing and learn about the process as La Dolce Vita transitions to My Family Matters Foundation, which is a completely child-focused service, the first of its kind in the city of Derry.

"By the time a separating couple gets to the family court or criminal proceedings, the harm the children experience is usually moderate to severe. They're already known to Social Services and the Health and Social Care Trust. Looking at this, we will act early to bring awareness to the parents.

“All the studies on family separation identify that the key to preventing harm from escalating is education, raising awareness and providing resources to parents. We're trying to act as an alternative resolution for parents, so they can seek help early and it doesn't get to the point for the court.

"We want to ensure the children are protected and not caught in the middle and that children know they have permission to love both of their parents.”

A domestic abuse awareness online educational workshop will take place on Monday, September 28 at 10:00am to 2:00pm. Registration is available here: https://www.surveymonkey.co.uk/r/BD8WQYW

A domestic abuse and safety planning workshop will take place in the Verbal Arts Centre in Bishop Street on Wednesday September 20 at 10:00am to 2:00pm. Registration is available here: https://www.surveymonkey.co.uk/r/QC7HCJV

The Domestic Abuse and Safety Planning Conference will take place at the Verbal Arts Centre on Wednesday, October 4 at 10am-2pm. Everyone is welcome to attend but registration is compulsary at https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/child-focused-domestic-abuse-and-safety-planning-conference-2023-registration-675140753167?

For more information on My Family Matters Foundation, search for them on Facebook.