My family Matters LDT launched in Derry with domestic abuse conference

A number of organisations who provide support to people affected by domestic abuse were speaking at the conference as well as District Judge Alana McSorely.

Donna-Maria Bradley, Founder and Director of La Dolce Vita Project said: “La Dolce Vita Project was founded back in 2016 with an idea of looking at the gaps between criminal proceedings and family court and what was being missed for families, and children in particular. When I began the charity, it took me on a journey. It initially started as domestic abuse and lived experiences and now the project is transitioning to a new chapter as My Family Matters Foundation LTD.

"I’m absolutely honoured to present this Child-Focussed Domestic Abuse Conference to discuss a profound topic of importance. Domestic abuse is a grave issue that effects not only the individuals directly but also those who witness it, especially children. The effects of domestic abuse on children are far-reaching and can shape our lives in ways we are actually only beginning to understand because a lot of the focus has been placed on when the person is living in it but a lot of the harm takes place when a person is getting ready to leave. This is where we see coercive control and alienating behaviours.

"Children are our future and it is our collective responsibility to ensure they grow up in a safe nurturing environment. However, when homes are tainted by domestic abuse, the repercussions for children are long-lasting.

"Research has heavily indicated that children who are exposed to domestic abuse may experience a range of emotional, phycological and even physical symptoms. They may struggle with feelings of fear, guilt, confusion and helplessness. It will go on to affect every relationship in their adult life. In the face of such adversity, children show remarkable resilience. However, their resilience should not be mistaken for immunity. The trauma of domestic abuse, coercive control and parental alienation, as we know, causes serious ramifications for children. Unfortunately research also indicates that children who grow up in abusive homes may hold the view that this behaviour is normal. Children normalise hearing parents arguing, hearing doors slamming, seeing mum or dad with a graze on their face, sitting silently in their bedroom dealing with the trauma and disassociating from the reality that they’re living in. Often we hear children say that they didn’t see anything but it’s not just what they see that causes the harm; it’s also what they’re hearing and the stories they are being told by parents."

"Today I wish to express a sincere thanks to the team of the Dolce Vita Project. I may have founded this programme but its the team’s dedication, commitment and voluntary hours that are driving the service. Call Handlers are the first point of contact for those who are unfortunate enough to experience what we have discussed today. They reassure them, provide resources yet their job is not seen as significant when it comes to funding applications. We are also in a fight to be able to deliver services which protect children and parents, and to make important decisions so we can act early, but we do what we do.

"For 2023, we had over 3,000 people through our services who have received counselling, safety support sessions, home safety planning with the support of the Policing and Community Board, referrals to Family Mediating to support their plans of separating and referrals to other services. There’s multiple services when someone rings in and we’re so happy to be connected to each of them. It doesn’t take just one service to deliver safety, it takes collaboration, cooperation, transparency and commitment but, most importantly, the dedication of the team that’s working behind the scenes.

“Don’t forget that we were all children once and we all looked up to our parents. Some of us had nurturing relationships and some had traumatic relationships but, whatever our experiences are, we must keep the focus on the child in you. Lets make this conference a stepping stone where no child has to live in fear within their home or after a family separates.”

Sandra Duffy, Chair of the Policing and Community Safety Partnership (PCSP) said: “Conferences like this are so important in getting information out into the community and to other professionals working in the field, around domestic abuse, parental alienation and all the issues that our young people and families are facing. It’s also important to give information on all the wraparound services that are available out there, especially for the PCSP, informing people of our community safety work around home safety checks and home interventions that allow for safety locks to be put on doors and cameras put in place, as well as youth interventions that take young people away from antisocial behaviour and teach them about good healthy relationships. I think it’s really important that we get that information out today.”

Alana McSorely, District Judge in the Magistrates Court and the Family Proceedings Court said: “The Family Proceedings Court needs to be very alive to the issues being discussed today, especially where children are concerned, in order to safeguard them in contact situations with a parent. I’m the resident in Enniskillen Court and we’ve set up a facility where victims of domestic abuse can give their evidence through video link from a women’s aid facility instead of having to come to court and having to face the alleged preparator. It’s all about safeguarding people so they can give their best evidence to the court and trying the best not to retraumatise them, while also protecting the rights of the defendant to a fair trial."