Workshops helping Derry mothers to go from 'surviving to thriving'

Israeli woman Lihi Shivak arrived in Derry over 20 years ago but, when she got pregnant with her daughter Alma, she temporarily moved back to her home country for the support of her family. When she returned to Derry in the middle of the pandemic, she was left feeling lost and isolated.

A professional contemporary dancer, trained Pilates teacher and complementary therapist, Lihi put her professional and personal experiences to good use and created workshops to help like-minded mothers who are in need of support. Lihi guides people to cope with challenges and difficulties in their lives, particularly those who find that their lives have changed in some way, such as mothers in different stages of motherhood.

Lihi said: “I returned to Derry in the middle of COVID so I was experiencing one extreme – a lot of support when Alma was born – and then I came back here and there was zero support. The Women's Centres were a great place to be for me but then I also noticed what was missing. That's where my passion to help those mothers came from – because I feel for them. I really wanted to use my experience and knowledge and deliver a service for those who really need it.

“It sounds like a cliché but our well-being, wellness and lifestyle deeply affect us and we really need to look at them, especially after COVID. Things changed, people lost their jobs or decided to leave their jobs because they understood what's really important. We live in a very overwhelming time so there is a lot of information and a lot of pressure, people are in a constant race to get somewhere. This is something we really need to wake up to and look deeply at how we can transform our lifestyle so we won’t suffer burnout or breakdown.

"The workshop starts with an individual check of where we’re at, in all areas of our life from nutrition to exercise, our social relationships and how often we see our family and how much time we spend in nature. Each of the participants fill out a mind map which they can keep as a tool they can work with. This check-in is a reflection of our health on all levels, for example, if we don't get enough sleep or the quality of our sleep is not good, it will impact all areas of our well-being. Adding to that bad diet, stress, chronic pain, social isolation; the result will be a very poor lifestyle. Looking at all those aspects helps to understand why we feel how we feel. Everything has a direct effect on our physical health, emotional health, and mental health.

“It's funny because every time we start the workshop, some women say ‘I'm grand, I'm grand’ but when they start looking at all different aspects of their lives, where they're at and how they feel, the realisations appear and they get a clearer understanding of why they are lacking energy or in pain. This realisation takes a lot of weight from their shoulders when they now know which areas they need to work on while they have also been given some of the answers and solutions to support themselves.

“I think those embodied practices are really important because it's more than a yoga or Pilates class. It's giving yourself many alternative methods to experience and check what works for you while educating ourselves in simple, easy, immediate rituals like breathing exercises for five minutes a day which can be the medicine for those who might suffer from anxiety. This simple yet powerful practice can shift us to another place in minutes.

"The difference in my program is the fact that I'm guiding people to self-guide. It's all about self-leading – you have the wisdom. I can tell you to breathe ten times, to do those exercises but it's not about that. You need to explore, you need to go on that journey yourself and find out what suits you. You will know your best fit, just keep searching, keep a ritual, create your own practice and this journey frees us and enables us to live in sovereignty in a way that we are less dependent on health care and shifting to self care. I believe we are our own healers, we have different healing journeys according to our specific needs and soul purposes, we are our own creators, we own full responsibility over how we want to live our lives.

"I always say that we're trying to go from a surviving mode, to a thriving mode but there is another level; from surviving to being. That is when we create a practice that supports us for life, then we will be in a thriving mode that will become a state of mind: we are the CEO’s of our lives, we can manage everything. We're always going to have those challenging days but we need to know how to slow down, understand our capacity, know our boundaries, and that's a practice for life. That's why shifting from carer to receiver is such hard work, especially when society’s expectations are to do and be it all.

“The key is: slow down, stick to some kind of routine that aligns with you and fulfils your needs, choose your village and embrace support, get fresh air on a daily basis, practice presence as much as you can, and enjoy the precious time you are here. Make the best of it, make the best of you."

For more information or to book workshops or courses with Lihi email to: [email protected]