Derry City's Stephen Mallon opens up about loss of his father during lockdown

STEPHEN MALLON has bravely opened up about the sad passing of his estranged father during the Covid-19 lockdown this summer and explained how his dad’s death has totally transformed his outlook on life.
Talented winger, Stephen Mallon says his father's death during lockdown has changed his perspective on life.Talented winger, Stephen Mallon says his father's death during lockdown has changed his perspective on life.
Talented winger, Stephen Mallon says his father's death during lockdown has changed his perspective on life.

The talented Derry City winger poignantly pointed to the sky at United Park, Drogheda, on Saturday night to dedicate his stoppage time strike to his dad, Denis, 67, who died after a battle with throat cancer on May 7 last.

In an emotional interview, the 21 year-old West Belfast man reveals he barely knew his late father but claims he found closure and some comfort while spending time at his father’s bedside before he passed away.

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Denis struggled with alcohol and Stephen, the youngest of six children, had been estranged from him since the tender age of 11.

Last March, as the Covid-19 pandemic swept across the globe, shutting down football worldwide, the Poleglass native received a phone call from his older brother to tell him his father didn’t have long left to live.

The Sheffield United loanee decided to try to patch up his differences, reaching out to his father and was able to be by his side as Denis slipped away.

Stephen was grateful for the opportunity to gain a greater understanding of the person his father was and the reasons for some of the decisions he made during his life.

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And, after scoring his third goal of the season at the weekend, Stephen paid tribute to his dad.

“That goal, that was for my dad,” explained the Derry midfielder. “It was a tough lockdown but that one was for him. He passed away over lockdown,” he revealed.

“It was a relief (to score) really. I said when I came back I wanted to get myself going again and get a goal for him so that’s dedicated to him.

“He had his own problems. He was an alcoholic and had other things going on in his life.

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“When my brother contacted me to let me know that he had throat cancer and it had got worse, he told me he wanted to see me.

Stephen's father, Denis who passed away in May after a battle with throat cancer.Stephen's father, Denis who passed away in May after a battle with throat cancer.
Stephen's father, Denis who passed away in May after a battle with throat cancer.

“And I wanted to go and see him and get to know him a bit more. In the lead up to when he passed away, I was going to see him, going down to his house and sitting with him for a couple of hours. It was my way of getting to know more about him.

“My dad had never actually been in the house growing up. The last time he probably came up to the house, I was about 11 or around that age. I have had phone calls from him but had never actually sat down and spoke up until around March or April time. That was the first time. It was something I wanted and had to do, as much for myself as it was for him, if I’m honest.

“So, in that way, it was good I had that time away from football to spend with him. It was nice to get to know him a bit before he left us.”

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Despite the situation, an intensely private Stephen decided not to confide in Derry City boss Declan Devine, instead insisting only a select few of his City teammates knew about his father’s condition for fear of being pitied. It’s an insight into Mallon’s strength of character and now he’s determined to use the experience as motivation to pursue his footballing dreams.

Stephen Mallon came off the bench against Drogheda United at United Park in the FAI Cup on Saturday.Stephen Mallon came off the bench against Drogheda United at United Park in the FAI Cup on Saturday.
Stephen Mallon came off the bench against Drogheda United at United Park in the FAI Cup on Saturday.

“It makes you appreciate life a bit more,” adds Stephen. “I only had a couple of weeks with my dad and it makes you realise how short life is. I don’t obviously have 50 years to get a career in football. I’m 21 now. I know I need to really push on now.

“I always said I wanted to make it for my mum, and now with my dad watching down on me, I want to do it for him as well.”

While he only had a short time with his dad, Denis’ death hit Stephen hard and he found it difficult to drag himself out of bed for days after his funeral.

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“Because he hadn’t been around, I was holding that against him,” admits Stephen honestly. “But, if he was going to pass away, I wanted him to go while we were on good terms and, then, when I went to see him, it kind of hit me. It was a completely different feeling than what I had before, or what I had expected.

“I had more of an understanding as to why he wasn’t there for me. It was something I never really talked about with my mum.”

Stephen has two sisters, Alice and Michelle, and three brothers, Gerard, Conor and Ciaran, but he’s the youngest of the siblings by some distance. His brothers and sisters have a different father but Stephen was grateful for their support in helping him say a final farewell to Denis.

Mallon celebrates his stoppage time insurance goal against Drogheda United on Saturday with Ibrahim Meite.Mallon celebrates his stoppage time insurance goal against Drogheda United on Saturday with Ibrahim Meite.
Mallon celebrates his stoppage time insurance goal against Drogheda United on Saturday with Ibrahim Meite.

“My brothers and sisters and my mum are all so tight. I have a different dad to my brothers and sisters but they were all there for me when my dad passed.

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“I never really spoke about him but I wanted to see him and there were just so many emotions. At the end of the day, he’s still my dad!

“It was nice seeing him but it was tough because he was a completely different person to what I had known, obviously with the throat cancer which was quite hard on him. It was hard to watch but it was nice to see him.

“You could say, it was his own fault, he was an alcoholic, but you don’t know how tough it was and whatever else has gone on in his life.

“So that’s why it was good for me to go and see him and kind of get closer to him. It might have been too late but it was nice to spend some time with him before he left us.”

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Life in lockdown for Stephen wasn’t, therefore, fully focused on football or keeping himself fit and he is candid enough to admit he found it difficult to pick up where he left off once the League of Ireland resumed in July.

“It was tough for me. It just happened to be during lockdown that my father was sick. I’m sure if the season was up and running Decky would’ve let me go and be with him but I would’ve missed a load of games and might not have been fully at it.

“For about two weeks after my dad passed away, I just didn’t want to get out of bed. It was just a tough period. I didn’t want to speak to Decky (Devine) or anyone about it. I didn’t want to come across as an excuse for why my fitness wasn’t really there or why I came back the way I did.

“There’s only two or three of the lads in the team I talked to about it. I didn’t want people feeling sorry for me.

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“I came back after lockdown and my performances were not the same. We agreed - Decky, myself and the strength and conditioning coach (Kevin McCreadie) - that I would take a few weeks off as I came straight in from pre-season to half a season then into Derry’s pre-season.

“So, I took a few weeks off, then got back into it and then got news that my dad only had a couple of weeks to live so it was a relief to score and get back at it.”

Derry boss, Devine, gifted his players a well deserved week off after their exertions in the Europa League and the FAI Cup win on Saturday.

And, Stephen, who spent six years in England in Sheffield United’s ranks, is just glad to be within a stone’s throw of his mum, Elish, and family.

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“I’m the youngest but it was fun growing up. I always had my brothers and sisters looking after me and pointing me in the right direction as they were a lot older and wiser. I always had them there looking after me.

“It’s just the simple things like going up the road to see them is something I missed out on over the last six years or so. I always knew that’s the sacrifices you’ve got to make.

“But with my dad passing away, it made me realise time is short and you have to spend as much of it as you can with your loved ones. As much as I know I’ve got to sacrifice everything if I want to make it to the top, at the same time it’s nice to be able to see my family.

“I’ve always said I want to give them the life they deserve because they’ve always been there for me and been more than good to me when I needed anything.”

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His 93rd minute goal in Co. Louth at the weekend rubber-stamped Derry’s place in the FAI Cup quarter-finals and he’s determined to do everything in his power to help bring silverware back to Foyleside this season.

“That’s got to be the aim now - to get to the cup final - as well as finishing as high as possible in the league.

Top three is still there for us but it would be nice to finish with a trophy.

“That’s what everyone is at the club for. The lads want to win trophies. So, it would be nice to get to the final and go all the way and lift the trophy.”