James McClean: ‘My reputation has taken a battering’ amid bitter Derry City row

The ex- Ireland international, who has two years remaining on his current Derry deal, has been frozen out by his hometown club as their contract dispute remains at an impasse.

In a frank interview on the Journal's Talking Derry City podcast, James discusses feeling betrayed by Derry City who publicly distanced themselves from his controversial mental health comments last week which prompted an angry backlash.

The Creggan man insists he's a 'massive advocate for mental health' and reveals how his own daughter struggles daily with severe anxiety and depression, clarifying his 'misunderstood' position on the subject.

McClean, the fifth most-capped player for his country, explains his 'anger, frustration and annoyance' at the situation with his hometown club, particularly witnessing Derry City supporters turning against him after the club released its statement last Monday which declared the player's 'views do not reflect our core values or beliefs.'

"There was a massive, massive pile-on which then transferred into the game," he said referring to a banner unfurled in the North Stand at Brandywell on the 16th minute of last Monday's victory over St Pat's and the abusive chants directed at him. "That hurt. To see your own doing that.

"The banner said, 'It's not weak to speak.'" I didn't say that it was. I absolutely never said that. And then to have your own fans shouting 'James McClean's a wa*ker'. It did hurt."

In an RTÉ Radio interview on Saturday during his book promotion in Dublin, he opened up again about his dispute with FAI Cup finalists Derry, claiming he's been made to feel 'like a leper' and has been 'cast aside'.

He alleges club chairman Philip O'Doherty gave him the option to retire with six months' salary last August and later received an email declaring his contract terminated due to being 'permanently incapacitated' - a medical diagnosis the player refutes. Derry City has refrained to comment on the contract dispute and stated it ‘has sought to resolve this internal matter privately’.

"I’m struggling in my current situation because you go home expecting and being told one thing, and for that not to work out, and then to be cast aside and then made to feel like a leper in a place where you thought they would never do that to you…for that to happen is very tough.

"I had a great thing at Wrexham: club captain, great relationship with everyone connected with the club, well respected, facilities, standards, etc., all top notch. I loved it there. My family was settled.

"I gave up 18 months and money to come home to Derry, based on guarantees and promises on and off the field and life after football. I had no reason at the time not to take these people at their word.

"In August when Tiernan Lynch got sacked, the same morning I received a club letter with two options: A. continue playing with further treatment; or B. Retire and receive six months salary. I thought it was a joke.

"That evening the owner rang me. I declined his call; I was out with my kids. I texted him to tell him that I was disappointed in his email. Ten minutes later I received a personal email from the owner: 'Your contract is terminated,” he claims it read. “You can no longer use anything related to Derry City and you can attend games in future as a spectator' due to being permanently incapacitated, which was apparently the view of the club doctor and club physio.

"That simply wasn't the case. I have seen three hip specialists in London twice, Dublin and Derry. The specialist in Dublin and Derry were both the club's choice. All four have stated very clearly that I am NOT incapacitated and can very well continue playing.

"After being refused training and the new interim manager telling the PFAI that "I have been told by the hierarchy James is no longer available for selection on medical grounds," which has not changed. I have trained fully every day - the same as everyone else but I'm not allowed to be selected for games. Make it make sense!"

Mental Health controversy

Clarifying his contentious mental health comments made in an interview with the 'Sunday Independent' last week when he was quoted as saying; "I see it as a weakness that I’d have to speak to someone about my feelings; my emotions," McClean said the comments were taken totally out of context, adding that he's been misunderstood.

"You say about being misunderstood and there's no more proof of that than what's happened over the last few days which was an absolute pile-on and it's obviously made a tough situation that I'm currently in, that bit tougher," said the former Wrexham captain. "Again, I can't really control that. People will jump on a headline without really delving too much into the context behind it.

"There was a huge pile-on against me over the last few days which I thought was very, very unfair. If you read the actual conversation, it's one where I'm personally opening up about a situation I've never spoken about my whole life. Not even in private."

In his autobiography 'The Walls' released last Thursday, James opens up about only learning the identity of his biological father from people in the street when he was around 10 years old and how his wife, Erin, has encouraged him to go to therapy to deal with the issue.

"And then to do that publicly [discuss his mental health] and the irony of the whole thing is they say men can't speak up but when you speak up about a personal situation you get absolutely piled on and abused for it," he continued.

"I'm a massive advocate for mental health. I have a daughter who suffers with severe anxiety. Days she's really depressed. My best friend takes tablets for depression. I've seen a man who you grow up thinking he's bulletproof. He's superman. He lost his mother, my granny, and see how that affected him.

"I was talking about my own personal situation. I said the word 'weakness'. I meant weakness for me. Maybe saying the word weakness is my weakness because that's my view on it. Personally, my therapy is going to the gym and that works for me. In the same sense, I commend any man or woman who feels the need to go to therapy - absolutely. If that works for you 100 per cent.

"So to have this narrative that I was bashing mental health and saying all men were weak. No, I was talking about a personal situation, me, and that I feel I don't need to go to therapy to speak to someone. I speak to my wife, I speak to my friends. You can classify that as my therapy. I go to the gym and I work out and that works for me.

"I'm in a very tough situation at the minute and it's been difficult. It's been very, very hard. The one thing I've done my whole life that has given me a lot of joy is football. And unfairly that's been taken away from me. Down the line we'll get into the reasons why and you can judge for yourself.

"But I have a lot of anger, frustration, annoyance built up about the situation and I think when people know the ins and outs, again there's been a pile-on against me in that sense.

"To see your own turn on you for something that you absolutely didn't in any way, shape or form mean. I didn't mean that. I was talking about me personally and my situation."

He claims Derry made no attempt to contact him before issuing their statement the day after his interview was published and he believes it escalated the situation.

"For the club to do what they did, on a matchday, to put a statement out distancing themselves from me . . See whether the club likes it or not, I'm still their player. I'm feeling the way I'm feeling because of what's going on with the club.

"That statement couldn’t have been for any other benefit than to stick the boot into me because they knew the backlash that would come on a matchday as well," he claimed. "I thought that was poor. No one reached out to me to say, 'James, can you clarify the statement that went out?'

"The proof is in the pudding," he answered when asked if he felt the club's statement exacerbated the online backlash he received. "It did; it did to a massive extent. So I am struggling, I'm not going to lie and my struggle is a lot of anger, frustration and annoyance at my situation.

"It was very poor and in my eyes a cheap nasty shot with no duty of care for my mental wellbeing."

James admits to making his situation with Derry City '10 times worse' with his controversial social media posts and public outbursts which tarnished the club's image on a national stage. He hinted at his unhappiness at the club and broken promises when part of the RTE World Cup Finals panel, saying: "You come home and you quickly realise that what you hear on the phone is not what you see in reality."

The 37-year-old left Wrexham to return home after 15 years in English football and claims in his book he was promised he would be shown the ropes 'for a role beyond football'.

In chapter 24 entitled 'Exploding,' he says: "I've been speaking to their manager, Tiernan Lynch, talking about how it might work if I did come back. Central midfield is the plan. I feel valued by the effort they are making. You want that as a footballer."

His social media posts and particularly their timing, did not go down well with the club or supporters as Derry struggled for form after so much pre-season expectation and investment. Ahead of the opening game at Celtic Park against Shamrock Rovers he posted about a potentially career-ending hip injury.

On the eve of Derry City's FAI Cup semi-final with Galway the PFAI and James released a joint statement describing the Brandywell club's attempts to terminate his contract 'without any due process or just cause' as 'incomprehensible'.

While he stands by his statement, James regrets his social media outbursts.

"My social media, as it always has, doesn't do me any favours. I lash out," he admitted. "I hold my hands up. I make the situation worse with my social media rants. Again, for a bit of context behind it. Those social media rants were the end of June or July. The season started in February. So people don't really know what goes on behind the scenes.

"Even the other day, I was driving home from boxing and saw the mental health article and I'm thinking 'Wait a minute, that's not what I meant. That's not the context that was said.'

"My first reaction, as always, was to go on the defensive and I put up an Instagram post straight on the defensive. Then you realise that's the wrong thing to do. I am struggling. I'm struggling with my situation but I'm not struggling to the extent where I feel I need to speak to someone.

"Like I said, I go to the gym and that works for me. Again, if you need therapy, Noel Brick, the club psychologist, is a brilliant man. I get on really well with him and laugh and joke.

"My reputation has taken a battering this year but people don't know the ins and outs of why it's taken a bashing. Eventually they will. And then they will probably understand.

"My social media, I hold my hands up, 100 per cent I made the situation 10 times worse for myself. It didn't help. But there's no reaction without an action, that's all I say."

The winger, who left Foyleside for Sunderland in the Premier League in 2011, has never been far from controversy throughout his career but he hopes his warts-and-all autobiography can help people have a better understanding of his behaviour.

Despite his bullish public persona, James admits he's struggling to come to terms with not playing football anymore.

"In this book, I just wanted to tell the truth so I just told what happened in situations. There's parts which will make me look bad but it's better just to tell the truth rather than a biased, my side of the story and this was how it was.

"I can't control if people love me or hate me. Which is probably why I did the book because at least then you're writing a book and it might give people the real me. "Look, you might still have the same opinion but at least then you know a wee bit more about the person before you judge."

James is adamant his toxic situation with his hometown club won't be the end of his football story. He insists he's 'not finished with football' and is more determined than ever to prove he has another chapter in his highly decorated career.

"I've definitely got football left in me. The first part of the season was very tough. I was battling an injury that was all new to me but now I've found someone on my own who is getting the best out of that situation, I feel in a good place at the minute, I've just not been allowed to show it. I feel like I've a lot of football in me and let's see how we get on."

Derry City FC were contacted about James' accusations but no-one from the club was available for comment.